Lee Should…

A while ago I asked Google what I need. Today I asked Google what I should do, because a girl needs to know.

Here are the Top 10 Things that Lee should be doing:

 

1. Lee should be on board for the rock album.

This sounds like a great idea, I should be on board for the tour too. Me, my limited musical talent and ripped jeans.

I'm all about the music

 

2. Lee to protect ‘open internet’.

It’s up to me to defend the world wide web from corporate and government in my free time.

 

Only I can save it.

 

3. Lee should have been Top Chef.

When I’m not saving the world wide web, I cook. In fact I am so good at it that I should have won a competition I never entered.

If I weren't already so cool I would Photoshop myself into this picture

 

4. Lee should avoid discussing Christian Theology.

Well… It’s not really my area of expertise.

 

5. Lee should pass on picking S.F. police chief.

Not a bad idea, since this is the first I have heard about it.

 

6. Lee should coach the New York Knicks.

This is probably an even worse idea than picking the S.F police chief.

I don't know the first thing about netball

 

7. Lee should “Shut His Face”.

If I were a man, this would be excellent advice for my Foot-in-Mouth disease.

 

8. Lee should date Sakura.

I would consider the Naruto character.

Dating an Anime character would be almost as awesome as having a unicorn

 

9. Lee should stay in Texas.

And then I wouldn’t have to pretend I’m a cowgirl, I could actually be one.

 

10.  Lee should clarify comments on Islam Jamiyah.

I probably said something because of my Foot-in-Mouth disease and now I need to explain what I meant.

 

So that’s it: I am a politically incorrect, superhero with hidden musical talents and I should live in Texas.

 

The Internet is Useless

I’m doing a little research on the internet at the moment. Or is it Google? I forget which one is more powerful.

I started out looking for brand acquisitions and examples of company mergers. I somehow ended up on:

KFC Cruelty

International Business Cards Collectors

PETA

When I looked for brands that have gained impressive market share I ended up looking at ‘How Datsun Became Nissan ‘ and I would like to read ‘Reality is Broken’ once I get through the ten books lying next to my bed (and the three in my car) that still need some of my attention.

Between all of that I have read a large amount of insightful blogs and articles that are actually a waste of my time at this stage.

I think the internet is being a tease. It won’t give me what I want.

On my lunch break I did a search for Hegre Nudes and decided not to access the site at work. When I clicked on the ‘leave’ button I was redirected to something completely unrelated to anything.

I have achieved absolutely nothing today.

10 Things I Need (According to Google)

Google is the latest religion. Think about it, it’s everywhere and knows everything. You can’t really see Google (think of their offices as a church), but you have a feeling it’s there. Maybe.

However, as a Google follower there is no 200 year delay on having your questions answered. So I decided to ask Google what I need. And this is what it says:

1. Lee needs more support (Time to go bra shopping)

2. Lee needs this hat (Oh yeah)

Number 2 on the list of what I need most.

3. Lee needs to get nasty  (I agree! But I’m not sure which one Google means)

4. Lee needs us (Sure, whoever you are – us, please identify yourselves)

5. Lee needs a kidney (Because two is not enough)

I need another one

6. Lee needs a safety net (For when I’m up high on things being reckless – I don’t even drink and drive!)

7. Lee needs a Nordpolitik (Awesome, because I really want one)

8. Lee needs the win (Yes! But what do I win? What’s the game?)

9. Lee needs your vote (Maybe then I’ll win?)

10. Lee needs Portland interest

I didn't before, but I have some interest in Portland now

So, just like leaving church on a Sunday, I’m still not sure about much. The only thing I got out of today’s religious activity is knowledge that I need a frog hat, new underwear and a whole heap of strangers. Apparently my kidney’s want a threesome and I’m into extreme sports. As a god Google doesn’t know me very well, but then again, I guess Jesus doesn’t either.