It’s been ages since I made a list. So here it is, the five most overrated things I can think of right now.
Ramen. In its defence, it did come out of a packet and didn’t have English cooking instructions. I still wanted to feel like a ninja while I ate it. Or at least like an animated character in a popular Japanese TV series. Neither happened. In anticipation for the day that it does, I am obsessed with Ramen, but it doesn’t make my hot list.
Twilight. Badly written books translated into worse movies. Teenagers now think vampires sparkle and have self-control. I would much rather watch a D-grade rendition of Bram Stoker’s Dracula in a sauna than sit through the A-listed Eclipse in an air-conditioned cinema. And I have less than no interest in reading about the cotton count on Edward’s sweater.
Having a full time job in a recession. Yes, I’m really lucky to be employed and even more lucky that my job is stable. But I can think of a lot of things better to do with my time than sit at a desk for 10 hours of the day. Like hugging an angry porcupine.
Having my car washed for me once a week. But only because in his thoroughness Edmore ‘re-adjusts’ my side mirrors. It drives me *#%@&%$ nuts! Just like the bits of lint on the bonnet.
Jelly beans. These are exciting for about two minutes. Then they roll all over the place, fall on the ground and contain so much artificial rubbish that they make you want to vomit rainbows.
And I have lost interest in garage pies and sandwiches so it’s now my standard lunch.
My fascination with Ramen started a few years back when I was watching about 17 hours of Naruto a day. Naruto loves Ramen. Naruto is also a ninja and that means he is automatically more cool than anyone else. This means Ramen has to be awesome even though I am still not entirely sure what it actually is.
And when I go to a Japanese restaurant I eat sushi. End of story. So I have limited education on this subject.
But the Asian store with cheap tofu has a shelf of Ramen. Packet Ramen that cooks in two minutes. Maybe. There are no English cooking instructions on the Ramen, so there is a chance I’m eating half-cooked Ramen. But if you lift the flap where the plastic seals you can find English ingredients. These vary from bits-o-squid (I don’t buy this flavour) to seaweed (I will eat seaweed) and dehydrated bacon (not so sure about this). And then, while it’s nuking in the microwave you can find the warning ‘Super Spicy!’. This is announced in small print, but sounds triumphant to me. It’s a weak claim.
My major concern with packet-Ramen is that it contains the following:
Sodium – 35g
Flavouring – containing 1000mg of sodium
Noodles – containing more sodium
So it’s not that nutritious and this confirms that ninjas don’t get their speed, agility and awesomeness from packet Ramen. And neither do I.
I’m still obsessed with Ramen though. I think about it for about an hour a day before I get up to prepare it. And early week Ramen is the best because I have several packets to choose from and I love making lunch decisions. Thursdays are not so great.
And just like that it finds its way onto my bucket list. I have to eat real Ramen before I die. Like Naruto does. Because it looks awesome. And it is less likely to give me a heart-attack.