Vegetables are more intelligent than sheep

I grew up in a rural area, so I am familiar with farm animals. I also like to eat them. And they are all equal, but some are more tasty than others. Especially sheep.

And a few years ago, some mates of mine decided it would be fun to adopt a lamb. I knew this was a bad idea. As far as I am concerned, the only purpose of a sheep is to be on my plate. But since I am an good with animals, I was asked to babysit their lamb.

Lamb wool is not soft and fluffy. It’s coarse and smells funny. If you think a group of sheep are dumb, one on its own is worse. There is a reason why lamb chops are popular at a braai – you can honestly consider it a vegetable and I can prove it to you. I can also prove that vegetables are more intelligent.

This is a cabbage:

Picture from NS IMEX on Flickr

This is a sheep:

Picture from Rori mails on Flickr

This is what happens when you ask a cabbage to stay:

That looks like a successful stay

This is what happens when you ask a sheep to stay:

Picture from Allybeag on Flickr. And that’s a fail for the sheep.

This is what happens when you ask a cabbage to sit:

And a cabbage can sit

This is what happens when you ask a sheep to sit:

Fail

This is what happens when you ask a cabbage to roll over:

This is an upside down cabbage, which means the cabbage passes the final test.

This is what happens when you ask a sheep to roll over:

Fail.

Therefore, as the sheep fails three out of three of the vigorous tasks in this experiment, we can safely conclude that a cabbage (which is a vegetable) is more intelligent than a sheep. Therefore, you no longer have to feel guilty about eating them.

You’re welcome.

Tomato

The American doesn’t eat tomatoes. Not on pizza, not in pasta, no tomato sauce – nothing. Anything red results in nose wrinkling and the look of a cornered animal about to be shot and skinned. Not even my irresistible puppy-face can convince otherwise.

And this is a bit of a problem in our relationship. Because I love them. And it’s about the only fruit that I will actually eat. And since the American doesn’t eat much meat, the dinners I can make are limited. As far as I am concerned, all the tastiest vegetarian meals contain tomato.

The American subscribes to my blog (because it’s important to know what I do on the internet) and will read this, so Dear American (and all other tomato haters), please consider the below.

A tomato is a pretty thing.

A solitary tomato looking good on its own

It’s red and shiny and looks great in a crowd.

Tomato and friends - still very attractive

It looks like a marijuana plant without the fruit.

Even the pre-tomato is good looking

It’s versatile in its uses.

Even dehydrated it still manages to be attractive

It contains vitamins and prevents scurvy. I read somewhere that it increases the natural sun defence of human skin. And I know people who drink it as a hangover cure. It contains anti-oxidant goodness. So combined with the sun protection is likely the fountain of youth, if only people would consume more of it.