I think the consumption of fruit is strange. Unless it’s a tomato or avocado, I’m not interested. And I haven’t developed scurvy yet, so that means eating fruit is not a major part of human survival. I don’t have time to waste on fruit either.
Fruit contains seeds and avoiding or ingesting the seeds is way too much effort. If I’m going to eat something healthy, I want it to be easy.
That’s why I cannot understand why the girls at the office eat fruit salad for lunch.
If you’re going to eat fruit salad, it should at least be for breakfast. Restaurants are onto this fact. Why do you think you can only order fruit salad up until 10:00am? Because it doesn’t make sense to eat it at all, but some freaks do, so it’s just there, along with muesli and yogurt (seriously, who goes out for breakfast and eats muesli and yogurt?).
The girls already think I’m a freak. So, I can’t appeal to them to stop eating fruit at lunchtime. They don’t understand that I find it confusing.
Lunch, in an ideal world, would be steak. Something big and filling to get you through the day.
The American doesn’t eat tomatoes. Not on pizza, not in pasta, no tomato sauce – nothing. Anything red results in nose wrinkling and the look of a cornered animal about to be shot and skinned. Not even my irresistible puppy-face can convince otherwise.
And this is a bit of a problem in our relationship. Because I love them. And it’s about the only fruit that I will actually eat. And since the American doesn’t eat much meat, the dinners I can make are limited. As far as I am concerned, all the tastiest vegetarian meals contain tomato.
The American subscribes to my blog (because it’s important to know what I do on the internet) and will read this, so Dear American (and all other tomato haters), please consider the below.
A tomato is a pretty thing.
It’s red and shiny and looks great in a crowd.
It looks like a marijuana plant without the fruit.
It’s versatile in its uses.
It contains vitamins and prevents scurvy. I read somewhere that it increases the natural sun defence of human skin. And I know people who drink it as a hangover cure. It contains anti-oxidant goodness. So combined with the sun protection is likely the fountain of youth, if only people would consume more of it.