Man of the year

Today I was sent a very offensive email. The subject line said something about ‘Husband of the Year 2012’ and you will be able to see the pictures that were included below (with a few others I found). However, I think that the images were not interpreted correctly. I would like to clarify what was going on here.

I think this is really sweet. This couple live in a very rural area. There are no gyms and to shake the holiday weight, the locals need to improvise. This man is supporting his partner in her efforts.
This picture shows what true love is all about. The man probably has a bad back, and his partner is helping him out.
We all know that women are not good with directions. So here the man is leading the way.
This is what I think of as team work. Clearly the boat has a hole in it. The man weighs more and his weight is needed to life the bow. This ensures that the couple will reach the shore dry and happy.
Here is an example of a crazy woman. She is stalking the guy in the tent. She has in the past liberated his stuff for her crazy shrine to him. Therefore, he needs to be able to protect himself. She found him camping in the woods after all, and no one can hear you scream in the woods.
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Man of the year

Two very good reasons not to read

Here comes the sad truth…

1. Twilight
Real vampires do not sparkle. Real vampires eat people. Real vampires don’t have families or fall in love (and IF they do they eat their families and lovers). Vampires are mean, horrible creatures: they might be charming and beautiful, but they will eat you. And by eat I mean drain you of blood and leave you to die.

And anyone can write something like this and here’s how:

Please do not pollute your mind by reading factually incorrect nonsense that has been vomited onto a page with no skill or flair.

2. 50 Shades of Grey
Seriously girls, grow up. The chances of a handsome, rich guy that will obsess about you, buy you stuff and have crazy, freaky sex with you are slim.

Here’s how things really work: Most men will just want to have crazy, freaky sex with you. They won’t be called Grey, and they won’t have a helicopter. Most men are broke and most men are not very handsome.

Please do not read badly written nonsense that will do nothing but disappoint you when your man asks you for a beer instead of a spanking.

Two very good reasons not to read