I don’t like children.
They scare the living daylight out of me. They spread disease. They make a lot of noise. They have freakishly small hands and feet, that are always covered in some questionable brown substance.
And children LOVE me. They are like heat seeking missiles, and I’m hot stuff. And I can’t even beat them off me, because that’s illegal.
You can see why this is a problem. That’s why I have made this collection of signs. I would like these to be put up everywhere I like to go.